What advice would you all give to me?

Ive been “straight” all my life. And in the past couple of years I began posting on subreddits, downloading grindr, and other apps in hopes to finally have sex with a man for the first time.

And that first time still hasnt happened yet.

Some of these issues are logistical. Certain men who reach out cant host, or live way too far away.

I also ask to exchange test results and many men dont want to do this.

I’m kind of not sure what to do anymore. Last night I was at a point where I was so desperate for a mans cock that I was ready to risk it all and go to a gloryhole.

I just want one man who I can call Daddy and who can dominate me and do anything he wants. I want to fully surrender to someone who can make me feel used. I think my repression is fueling these thoughts even more.