Hi y’all. I’m a lifelong Auburn fan seeking a new team due to the basic lack of human dignity and support of literal human garbage the people running my beloved university have. I have massive respect for Shane Beamer and have always liked his dad, and my hatred of Dabo seems to make USC the right fit for someone like me. So what do I need to know? Who else do we hate? What are our other traditions besides Big Spur and “Sandstorm”?

Go Cocks!

EDIT: Thank you to everyone for being so welcoming to me and I’m looking forward to finishing the football season with you guys and gearing up for next year. While I mostly was looking for football relief (Bruce Pearl and I disagree on many many things but at least he never made an underage girl undress in front of him or called a sexual assault victim a liar) I’ll be also keeping up with the other sports as well.

Other fun facts about me: Texas A&M head coach Jimbo Fisher and I are distant cousins. I’ve never met him.

I also have soft spots for West Virginia and Penn State.