Forgive me if this post is lengthy, however I feel compelled to be as open and honest about what I’ve done to (a) help get some off my chest and (b), pray that someone reading this who identifies alot of similarities to my life, might find a way to stop before things get (literally) catastrophic.

Some initial background - I’m in my late 30’s, live in Canada, and coke from a privileged background that included going to private school and enjoying the cottage in the summer. I had every advantage and benefit one could hope for in life.

Growing up, I was generally not a great student, and preferred to hang with the cool kids etc and party. Same story through university, where I developed a passion for paying poker at the local casino, and still love the game (it’s not what got me into trouble).

Fast forward a bit, and I end up marrying a girl who grew up a few doors down, and had always thought out of my league (even though I’m good looking, athletic etc). Along with this, I discovered a natural ability to excel in sales, and in my case was in the field of commercial real estate. It was tough for the first few years, but did eventually find meaningful success. To add to this, I was fortunate to receive a substantial gift for both my parents and my in laws for us to purchase a nice home.

While married but before kids, I met a guy at a private poker game who was a book maker. Betting sports was totally foreign to me, and after his introduction of me to it, I quickly became increasingly consumed by it. I actually did well for the first ~8 months, making straight bets, and at my peak was up around $200k. I eventually got to know a few other underground books, and spread action around. Between the 3 groups I was betting with, I’d say I’d have combined available credit to the tune of ~$250k / week.

For some unbenownsst reason, I smoked the figurative crack pipe that is parlays. I’m became increasingly consumed with all of this as my wife became pregnant with twins, and continued through to their first couple years.

During this time the losses started to really add up…. And I had to start doing things to get he cash I needed, which included opening a line of credit on our house.

There’s a few more details about how this all ultimately ended blowing up in my face which I need to refrain from being specific about, however the Net of it is that as I write this, I do so from the basement of my parents house, who themselves are heartbroken. Devastated. Currently going through a divorce because of some of the things I did trying to solve some debt issues, and am lucky if I see my beloved children more than 10 hours per week.

I am a complete, and total social pariah. Everyone, and even every ‘2nd degree’ connection within my social sphere knows about this, and some of the jaw dropping actions I took to try and cover my ass. For a moment I thought I’d make it out ok with works deals I had in the pipeline, but the market ranked all of them.

So here I sit. I man who had every advantage, benefit, privilege anyone could ever want, including a beautiful family in a beautiful home, with my bank accts in overdraft, complete societal ostracism, and little prospect of making the money I once could given todays market.

My boys still beg me to come ‘home’ with them when they visit, and the mental agony that alone has caused is indescribable… and that’s not even taking anything else into consideration.

Gambling underground with big credit limits and an addictive personality literally ruined my life, and arguably the same for those closest to me. Ruined friendships from borrowing $. Not to mention, I still have a $100k debt to a certain group of motorcycle enthusiasts that’s carried for a year now and my agent is getting impatient to say the least. I fear that could force things into a very bad situation, and it’s a fraction of what I’ve given them which is the frustrating part.

If you’re a ‘type A’ guy reading this who is also thinking hmmmm, maybe I should tone it down, please, stop immediately.

Sincerely, a man who literally had it all and has lost everything.