Watson a name? This is a gender-flip of sorts, of the ridiculously charming Shirley Holmes: Teenage Tomboy Detective script written by u/homersoc_. I am very grateful for their permission to tell the story from the point of view of the male character. I obviously had to write some things from scratch, but one of my goals was to keep or adapt as much of the original text as I could, because I loved it so much. And while it does break my trend of only doing shitpost audios, I hope it still makes you smile or laugh. So dust off your trusty fedora, and let’s get a move on…

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I held up the flashlight as requested, looking down at the contents of the box as she cut it open with her scissors. It was full of contraband. Every dose individually packaged in its own little tube.

Tearing off one end, she spilled a bit into the palm of her hand. I watched with anticipation as she licked the tip of her little finger and dipped it into the pile, before touching it back to her tongue.

Satisfied, she spat it out quickly and declared success, before standing up and turning to me.

“So, it’s the real stuff then?”, I asked, as she dumped the rest of the powder onto the ground, brushing away the leftover residue. I turned off the flashlight as she confirmed our suspicions. Pixi Stix. Almost one hundred percent pure American sugar. We’d have to go to the principal with this one. If the freshmen sold these to the elementary kids next door, it would be chaos.

Incredible! Another case solved. I was the Dr. Watson to her Sherlock Holmes. Well, if both of them were eighteen year old seniors in high school, and, uh, Sherlock Holmes was a tomboy. Her name was literally Sherlock Holmes too. I guess her parents really loved the character. Everyone called her Shirley, which she tolerated, though I sometimes called her Sherlock to get on her good side. She was going to major in criminology in college, and she’d already solved hundreds of cases as far as I knew. Stuff like who rigged the last prom vote, or the test cheating ring in Algebra. No doubt she had a bright future ahead of her.

As for me, I was more into the noir scene, but obviously we played up the Sherlock connection a lot more. And let’s be honest, even though I had my uses, she was the brains of the operation. I always got there…eventually. But she was usually two steps ahead of me.

Find the full audio here.

Please do not re-post or re-host my audios anywhere. All characters are fictional and 18 .