Premise: An unusual young woman at an addiction recovery support group talks about her obsession and how it's brought her to where she is right now.

The teaser:

Hello everyone. My name is… well, I’d rather not use my name, if that’s okay. And I have an addiction.

An addiction to saving money.

I know as far as addictions go, that doesn’t seem too bad. Not compared to all of the trouble your addictions have put the rest of you through, or your loved ones. But… well, it can’t hurt for me to talk about it, can it?

I can’t pass up a deal. I am not just a coupon queen; I am a coupon empress. It’s a full time job, which is unfortunate, because I already have a full time job. In fact, I probably don’t even need to be so thrifty because I do make enough money at my real job to make my second one unnecessary.

It’s such a thrill though. I walked into the grocery store one time and bought two cases of canned ravioli for one dollar thanks to double coupons and other offers. I was so proud of myself and so excited. At least until I remembered that I hate canned ravioli. It tastes way too much like can and far to little like ravioli. So I dropped it off at the food shelf on the way home.

It wasn’t about the ravioli though. It was about all of the money I saved in buying it. That’s the thrill.

My friend knows about this obsession of mine. They think it’s funny, even when they end up benefiting from it, like when I unload some of the extra groceries on them. They live just down the hall, so it’s easy to just stop by with stuff I grudgingly realize is too much for me to keep. If he doesn’t want it, he’ll help me load it up in my car, and to the food shelf we go.

We’re good friends, by the way. But… not in that way. Not friends with benefits. Maybe… partial benefits? He gives good back and foot rubs. And I have a tendency to flash him at the bar after a margarita or two. But in an ironic way, if that makes sense. I flash him because there is no tension between us. That’s why we can make vulgar jokes about things we could hypothetically be doing to each other. Sometimes at the bar we pretend we’re going to go home and do increasingly weird things. But that’s just to get a reaction out of the people around us.

Um, and there is one bar we’re not allowed back into. But they watered down their margaritas anyway, so no big loss...

Full Script Here

Hopefully I'm not offending anyone by setting this in an addiction recovery group meeting. It just seemed like an interesting way to frame the narrative, especially given her obsession. No offense or diminishing of anyone's struggle was meant.

That being said, I had fun churning this out today while I was supposed to be doing work stuff. Getting paid for a regular job while you sneakily write something like this? That is a thrill too.

You know what else are also a thrill? Comments. If not on my post, on someone else's, to let them know you enjoyed it. Comments are a hell of a deal, because they cost you very little effort, but mean the world to the recipient. Although if you do comment, please don't tag anyone else.

This script can be edited in any way by someone interested in recording it. Please feel free to change anything, including the tags, titles, or whatever to suit your tastes.

Thanks for reading everyone.