In conclusion, if you make your passwords eight characters or more in length, with at least one capital letter, one number, and one non-alphanumeric character, you will help keep our company’s and our customers’ confidential information safe. Remember, we can’t spell security without “you”.

This concludes your self-guided security review. Your manager and Information Security have been notified of your compliance. You will be emailed a certification of password excellence, suitable for framing or pinning to your cubicle law, as long as it remains in compliance with Human Resources policy C U B dash zero nine seven.

You may now exit this training session. Thank you.

[long pause]

[Starts humming lazily to draw attention, or however you want to play this]

Hey there… are you still listening?

Oh, don’t worry. I’m not listening to you like you possibly are to me. I’m long gone. This is my last day of doing voiceover work for my current company. So I decided to have some fun since they cheated me out of my bonus this quarter.

Everyone closes out of these training things as soon as they know it’s over. Their brain is fried, and they either need to pee, get some coffee, or just stretch their legs after sitting through a self-guided training session that long. It could be months or even years before this little easter egg is discovered. Depending who discovers it, it may even go unreported for a while. It could be very bad for my employer.

Anyway, I don’t need this job anyway. My side hustle was sexy audios, until it started making me more money than this stupid job. Now it’s going to be my full time gig for a while.

Do you want a free sample?

Full Script Here

Hopefully this falls within the allowed content for this sub. If not, I fully understand if this gets deleted. This subreddit keeps inspiring to write stuff that still maddeningly ends up falling into the enormous grey area my mind perceives for types of stories, even withe excellent post defining them. But stuff like that just seems to be hard for me to wrap my head around.

Hopefully this qualifies as an audio play, as sort of a one-woman show. She may suggest the listener do something, but there's no actual interaction, and she doesn't know if no one ever listened to this, or thousands of people did.

I've taken many self-guided company training courses, with most of them being not quite torture, but close. The main redeeming factor has been the voices, even if they are presented quite a bit differently than what I listen to when I'm not at work. I'm also well-accustomed to corporate and cubicle culture. (Side note, Better Off Ted is still one of my favorite past tv shows because of it's take on all of that, but Office Space is pretty awesome too.)

Anyone interested in recording this should feel free to change it however they wish. This is just kind of me running with an idea I had and clumsily typing it up before it escaped from me.

I love comments, but please don't tag other people in your comments. I'd love to hear this recorded, but only if the performer finds it on their own and they decide they want to record it.

Thanks for reading, and my apologies if this don't isn't the right content for this subreddit.