I had a nightmare last night.

It featured a dinosaur. A T-Rex, to be exact. But it’s not the kind of nightmare you’d expect.

He commissioned me to do a custom audio for him, except instead of being somewhere out on the internet, he was right there in the room with me. That goes against my rules to begin with, but like I said, it was a nightmare.

He also had very specific tastes in audios. He wanted jerk off instructions.

So I started off by telling him to take off his clothes, except he’s not wearing any, because he’s a dinosaur. So I already screwed up there. I could go back and redo that part or edit it out of the recorded part, but he was right there listening to me in the same room.

So then I started to tell him to touch himself. But he’s got those stubby little T-rex arms that are just kind of hanging there, and in no way capable of touching his cock. I mean, he tried. He kept straining to somehow get his hands down to where his cock was, but we’re not even talking close here. You’ve seen a T-Rex right? Why do they even have those little arms anyway? They’re useless, especially for some little self-gratification. It was all very sad to watch. Funny, but sad.

Also, why did he even have a cock? Do dinosaurs have cocks? You never see it in any drawings, but then you usually don’t see schlongs of any animals in books. Or am I just reading the wrong books? From what little I remember, lizards keep their stuff hidden away, but I’m no dinosaur scientist or whatever they’re called. I make sexy audios and whatever other nebulous things I do for my day job, if I do indeed have one. I’m not telling, though.

Anyway, this T-Rex did have a cock. Technically. You’d think such a big creature would have a proportionally sized cock. We’re talking the freaking king of the dinosaurs here. But his cock was even sillier and less practically sized than his arms. If all dinosaurs were hung like mosquitos, no wonder they went extinct. I’m not saying the comet or meteor or whatever didn’t have something to do with it. But the female dinosaurs probably looked at the sky falling on them and thought, “thank God… at least I’ll feel this.”

Did dinosaurs even have a God? Maybe he’s the one that sent the asteroid their way, and wiped them all out. At least, all of them except for this one inexplicably fitting into my room with me. The one with the impossible request.

Why couldn’t this dinosaur be into small penis humiliation? I could go on for days about his tiny Jurassic pork. Except he seemed like the kind that might be sensitive about that. Or about small arm humiliation. I could have worked with either of those, but not a t-rex JOI.

I was worried he might want his money back if I did something like that. He’d paid a lot too, although I don’t know where a dinosaur would get money from. Or where he’d keep it. If he had pockets, it’s not like he could reach them with those stupid little arms. Even if he did let me keep the money, sensitive guy that he was, he might cry.

Or he might eat me. I was very clear up front that I didn’t do vore, but I couldn’t be so sure that he would honor that. Sure, he’s been pretty well-behaved up to this point. But at the same time, he had a brain the size of a walnut, which made it bigger still than his shrinky-dink. Maybe he was a grower and not a shower, but he looked like he was as hard as he was going to get, even if a Vienna sausage would dwarf it as much as the rest of his body dwarfed mine.

So like one of the original voice artists, Scheherazade- you know, the woman from One Thousand and One Nights. Am I saying her name right? I’m not sure. Anyway, like her, I started making up a story to tell in hopes of sparing my life. I told the story of this T-Rex in front of me meeting a female T-Rex, and them instantly falling in love. I spun a tale of their courtship, and then moved on to the consummation. She loved his prehistoric peen and the manly embrace of his mighty arms. I told him how he was showing the world he was more than the greatest apex predator of all time. He was also the greatest apex lover.

His cock actually doubled in size, which sounds cooler than it actually looked. It still wasn’t much. Then as I reached the climax of the story, he reached his climax, and a drop of something that was dinosaur spooge now, but maybe in tens of millions of years would become oil trickled out. I started to feel better about myself. I had rocked his world.

Oh. That was a very poor choice of words there. Yes, it was sixty-six million years ago that the asteroid or whatever hit Earth, but given it wiped out this guy and almost all life, it still seems like a case of “too soon.”

I don’t think he noticed my faux pas. Well, if he didn’t mind, then neither did I. I went back to thinking about this entire audio, and how after editing out that beginning part, this was going to the greatest performance I had ever recorded.

That’s when the T-Rex glanced over at me in a moment of post-orgasmic clarity, and asked me, “Um, was your microphone turned off this entire time?”

And that is when I woke up screaming.

This is short enough where I can post it here in its entirety. But I also have it posted here. Although one or both may be gone shortly, as this is somewhat of a shit-post and I'll likely think better of it soon enough. I'm in that moment of "I wrote it and want to post it now", and haven't yet reached the inevitable stage of "well, that was dumb."

Please do not tag any content makers in the comments. If they are meant to record this, they will find it on their own and make their own call.

My policy on the use of my scripts is here.