Thanks for driving me to college, Dad. I could have taken the plane I guess. But I had so much stuff I wanted to bring with me to the dorm room. Stuff that would only fit in the back of your car.

There used to be a lot of road trips in the past. The entire family going on vacation or going on road trips. I used to drive you nuts on those, didn’t I?

So… are we there yet?

[laugh] Sorry, I had to say it. It’s been so many years since I last did it. I guess I kind of outgrew it after a while and would just spend the trip listening to music and doing stuff on my phone. Sometimes we’d get to our destination and you or mom would have to wake me out of my social media coma.

This could be our last road trip for a while though. Maybe forever.

I’m going to miss these road trips. I’ll miss the house. Definitely mom’s cooking, or your grilling in the backyard.

And I’ll also miss our sexual tension.

[optional horn]

Daddy! You almost hit that car. Sorry, I didn’t mean to distract you.

Not just a second ago. And not on my eighteenth birthday. I think it was my wearing the new dress mom had given me as a birthday present and seeing me finally kind of leave that little girl I used to be behind.

Oh, I’ll still always be daddy’s little girl. But that was the first time you saw me as a woman. It was uncomfortable for you. But as for me? When I noticed you finally noticing me in that way… well, it was actually kind of exciting.

I wouldn’t do anything about it. Not under the same roof as mom. Well not unless you started something, at least. You never did though. You suppressed those feelings about me, your own daughter. Meanwhile, I was thinking about you a lot.

I don’t know if you noticed it either, but we’re not under the same roof as mom right now.

I think you did notice that I am unzipping your pants though...

Full Script Here

I was watching or reading something last night about kids saying "Are we there yet?" on car trips, and this idea just kind of came into my head. I think it works out okay, but I'm definitely not a good judge of either my writing or what people are looking for.

If anyone wants to change this, please feel free to do so.

Feel free to comment, but please don't tag others in your comments. If anyone wants to record this, they should find it and make that decision their own. I wouldn't want someone to feel pressured into it.

All characters are legal adults.