Spoonerism-based shitposts. They're the wave of the future. (I believe u/ravishagirl is working on "A Sale of Two Titties" as we speak.)

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"Oh, I'll bet this burns you up, doesn't it? Watching me running my hands up and down his cock, while you just lie there, all floppy and useless. You're just a dumb piece of cloth, aren't you? Don't ever compare yourself to me, a flesh-and-blood human person, you pathetic cotton tube!"

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Tags: [F4M] [Textile abuse] [Dumb piece of cloth] [Mildly unhinged speaker] [Technically plushophilia?] [Definitely a shitpost]

Disclaimer: This is a fantasy post written by an adult, intended for an adult audience only. All characters depicted are 18 or over.

Shameless script plug section: Looking for something a bit different? My latest and greatest (proper) scripts include the following: | Watch Us Move | All The Things I Would Do To You |Christmas Shopping Is SO Boring |

For the truly daring among you, my unwieldy script repository may be found here.

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I Wanna Cuck Your Sock

(condescending) Well, well... what have we here? You... getting all nice and cozy in bed, about to get your rocks off again, I see.

(teasing) Hmmm... Not tonight, you don't. Give me that sock.

(strict) You heard me. Give it here!

(smug) That's right. No special bunk buddy for you tonight, I'm afraid. Your little sock friend is going to sit right here on the edge of this bed and watch you get off with a flesh-and-blood woman instead.

(insulted) What do you mean, "who"? Me, of course, you dummy!

(seductive) Tonight, I'm going to have my way with you. And you just have to deal with it, you dumb sock.

(whispering into listener's ear seductively) That's right... I... want to cuck... your... sock.

(licking her lips in anticipation) I want to cuck your sock so bad, baby... You have no idea how much I've wanted this...

(to listener) Let me just wrap my soft hand around your cock. (starts stroking) Mmmm... doesn't that feel good? Much better than that stupid sock of yours, isn't it? Don't lie to me, I can see that blissful expression on your face. I'll bet you never thought it could be this good, huh?

(to the sock) And you... you just stay right there and watch me have my way with your man...

Oh, I'll bet this burns you up, doesn't it? Watching me running my hands up and down his cock, while you just lie there, all floppy and useless. You're just a dumb piece of cloth, aren't you? Don't ever compare yourself to me, a flesh-and-blood human person, you pathetic cotton tube! You idiotic, silk-soft piece of garment!

(grunt) That's right... I'm so much hotter than you'll ever be, you glorified wannabe glove!

(pause)

Hmmm? Ooohhh... I see how it is. You like this, don't you, you little textile slut? Does this turn you on? Huh? Does it turn you on, knowing that my soft, warm hands are so much better at pleasing your man than your honestly quite impressive thread count could ever be? Yeah?

Good... now, watch me finish him off. (speeds up, quickly getting the listener off)

(to the listener) That's it... cum for me... cum for me, baby... don't look at it... look at me!

(to the sock) Bet you've never been able to do that, huh? Of course not. You're just a worthless piece of footwear. I'm the real deal!

(to the listener) So... how was it, baby? Care to do this more often? (evil grin) Your little buddy here can watch...

(deadpan) Seriously? You want the sock back? What is wrong with you?

Fine! Here! Have it back! Honestly, you deserve each other.

(exits the room, grumbling) I swear to god, every time I do this with someone... They're all like "'who are you?' and 'what are you doing in my house?'" and blah blah blah... (she groans) So ungrateful...