Why this post exists

I have undertaken this post for two main reasons: - to provide encouragement for writers and performers to create content for survivors of traumatic Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA), and - suggest guidelines for writing "affirmations" that might be especially helpful for trauma survivors and others.

Caveat

This post is based upon personal experiences and thoughts. It does not rely on other data, studies or discussion with professional care givers. Take it for what it is worth, and feel free to engage in further discussion.

The perceived need for audio affirmations

When I looked for reassuring content that addressed survivors of male childhood sexual abuse (CSA), I found very little. There is likely an audience that would be comforted and encouraged by such entries. Even though few men declare the hashtag "me too", I believe a sizable audience exists.

When something you want doesn't exist, consider making it. Hence ... this rather lengthy post.

The potential of recorded audio

Recorded audio is often a very personal and intimate medium. The medium could be potentially helpful in providing reassurance and healing as well as entertainment (and sometimes arousal). In an ideal world, audio material from sources like Gone Wild Audio, Gone Wild Audible, and Pillow Talk Audio could be sources for positive experiences that foster behavior change.

Some ideas of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) could be powerful tools in creating reassuring content. Main techniques of CBT are

1) unearthing persistent, non-constructive thoughts that limit a person's behavior and development, and

2) challenging and/or replacing non-constructive thoughts with more constructive ones.

see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy#Description

Affirmations in recorded audio

Audio performances are well-suited to delivering positive "affirmations" to counter non-constructive thoughts that thwart intimacy. Affirmations can be sorted into three categories according to the source or "origin" of the negative thoughts.

1. General content for general issues - affirmations that provide encouragement or instructions to motivate positive action.

These affirmations are not specific to a particular situation or incident. "Coaching" and gentle coaxing or reassuring content fall into this category.

Examples are non-specific encouragement about relationships -"You have a lot to offer", "You are young enough to begin a new relationship", "Just because this one did not work out, it does not mean the next one won't."

This post will not address these types of affirmations in detail.

2. General content for common intimacy issues - affirmations that address issues that affect many intimate relationships.

These affirmations target a variety of issues that partners face in intimate relationships.

The issues include perceived body image or body part inadequacy (e.g.; "small/large breasts", "small male genital size"), fear of "becoming dependent" or losing "control" or "identity" in relationships, and differences in the amount of sexual experience between partners.

3. Specific content for unique issues - affirmations that address issues caused by an individual's unique experiences or perceptions of events.

These issues include specific memories of traumatic incidents or things that are symbolic of troubling relationships. Affirmations to these can be created for issues discovered during counseling or therapy sessions.

Examples are "Your past rape experience will not cause a new partner to reject you."; "Your same-sex rape experience did not affect your core sexual identity." "Your abuser can no longer punish you or your family for interest in other partners."

A sample narrative structure that includes affirmations

Affirmations can easily be included in the narrative structure of recorded audio. Below is a schematic outline of such an audio based on a sample script.=

Outline for a relatively "Safe For Work" (SFW) audio narrative

1. Initial intimate setting for Partners "A" and "B"
2. Partners begin sexual activity
3. Partner A senses Partner B's discomfort (due to past trauma)
4. Partner B discloses negative thoughts that cause the discomfort
5. Partner A delivers constructive affirmations that challenge Partner B's negative thoughts
6. Partners A and B resume sexual activity

The outline above can also be extended by appending a "Not Safe For Work" (NSFW) series of segments.

1. Sexual foreplay and beginning arousal
2. Partner A Re-iterates Affirmations
3. Partner A and B achieve complete arousal
4. Partner A and B achieve Climax
5. Partner A delivers Aftercare

An annotated sample SFW script based on this outline exists at Pastebin.com:

https://pastebin.com/uv40ir0r

A standard performance script (non-annotated) also exists at Pastebin.com:

https://pastebin.com/TjMjmik9

Affirmation examples - in more detail

This section contains four affirmations that are in the sample SFW script above. This section better illustrates the types of affirmations that might be helpful. The examples also identify the experiences and perceptions that can create non-constructive thoughts.

A1. Issue: Fear of negative consequences due to having sexual relations

Category 3: Specific content for unique experiences

Negative Thought(s) of Partner B: "If I tell anyone about my abuse history, something bad will happen to me or my family."

Affirmations spoken by Partner A: "No one can hurt you now if we have sex. Your abuser must be long dead."

Source of Partner B's Negative Thought(s): An abuser made threats to retaliate or to select a sibling for abuse if a survivor did not comply.

A2. Issue: Fear of expressing sexual interest or desire

Category 3: Specific content for unique experiences

Negative Thought(s) of Partner B: "If I show interest in sex or engage in it something bad will happen to me or a family member."

Affirmations spoken by Partner A: "You, your sister, your family ... they are all safe. Nothing you do will put any one at risk."

Source of Partner B's Negative Thought(s):

An abuser made threats to victimize another vulnerable family member if a survivor showed romantic or sexual interest in others.

B. Issue: Fear of disease and pregnancy

Category 2: General content for common intimacy issues

Negative Thought(s) of Partner B: "If we have sex, I may get a disease or you may get pregnant."

Affirmations spoken by Partner A:

"We are using a condom." "I am on birth control". "I have been examined for STDs and other issues recently."

Source of Partner B's Negative Thought(s):

Fear of consequences of pregnancy or lack of information about reliable birth control methods

(Note: In the script example, this negative thought has a "Specific for Unique Issues" origin. It is based on intentional mis-information by an abuser).

C. Issue: Fear that a partner will reject a lover who was abused or raped.

*Category 2: General content for common intimacy issues

Negative Thought(s) of Partner B: "No woman will accept me knowing I was raped by a (man/woman)." "No man will accept me knowing I was raped by a woman/man)."

Affirmations spoken by Partner A: "I have heard nothing that makes me desire you less." "This is a place I may be able to help."

Source of Partner B's Negative Thought(s): Fear of acceptance because of unusual or abusive sexual experiences.

(Note: In the script example, this negative thought has a "Specific for Unique Issues" origin. It is based on intentional mis-information by an abuser).

Discussion

This post serves mainly to encourage more writers and performers to create reassuring audio content that contains effective affirmations. Creators are already positioned to imagine and create general content that addresses general issues (Category 1) and general content for common intimacy issues (Category 2).

Writers and performers may also be able to create specific content for unique issues (Category 3). They can attempt Category 3 affirmations if they have insight into the abusive or troubling scenarios that generate negative thoughts that inhibit listeners. Some writers and performers may have suffered such troubling scenarios or witnessed them and developed such insight. Others may consider collaborating with professional caregivers or others to gain it.

Reddit communities are welcome to discuss these issues, dispute them, experiment with them, and share results here or elsewhere.

Stay safe.