Folks, I am so, so sorry for this. I'll post a proper script soon, I swear!

Anyway, I believe u/heartdamage is at least partly to blame praise for this one. She did that ASMR audio a while back where she whispered a bunch of iconic vines, and this one just got stuck in my head. The end result? I just made an erotic, shitpost-y script based on a 5-second vine. I'm pretty sure this means I just won the internet. So, without further ado, I present to you 2 bros hanging out together in a hot tub in a completely heterosexual manner.

^{(Also, feel free to swap out "bros" for "gals", if you are so inclined. Honestly, this might be the most easily gender-flipped script of all time.})

Disclaimer: This is a fantasy shitpost by a supposed adult, written for an adult audience only. All bros depicted are 18 or over. A performance of this script should only be attempted by licensed bro-fessionals.

Looking for more scripts to play with? You might find something entertaining in here.

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SCRIPT: "2 bros chillin' in a hot tub"

(Sound of water calmly splashing against the banks of an outdoor hot tub. A jet massager is running quietly in the background.)

Bro 1: Man, this is the life.

Bro 2: You said it, bro.

Bro 1: Here we are, just two best buds, chillin' in a hot tub, soaking up the sun while knocking back some cold, domestic brewskis, and generally just hanging out together in a completely hetero manner, while maintaining a Standard Bro Distance of 5 feet from one another at all times.

Bro 2: ...Bro, why are you talking so weird?

Bro 1: Um... I dunno. I just felt like saying that out loud for some reason.

Bro 2: Oh... cool.

(Sound of jacuzzi continues in background during a brief moment of silence.)

Bro 2: Y'know, if we weren't taking the mandatory bro-cautions, this'd be kinda gay, huh?

Bro 1: (Shrugs) Yeah, I guess. Not a problem for us, though. 'cause we're not gay.

Bro 2: Yep. (Sips beer.)

Bro 1: Yep. (Sips beer as well.)

(Brief silence. Sound of bottles clinking as they make a toast.)

Bro 1: Whoa, sorry. Didn't mean to break the distance rule, bro.

Bro 2: It's cool, bro. No need to worry about anything gay happening.

Bro 1: Nope. Not with the two of us.

Bro 2: (After a pause) This'd be a sweet place to have sex, though, right?

Bro 1: Oh, most def. Shame there aren't any hot chicks around.

Bro 2: I mean... we could just do it with each other, y'know? I mean, if we were gay or something.

Bro 1: Sure. I mean, if we WERE...

Bro 2: Yeah, if we WERE...

Bro 1: Which we're NOT.

Bro 2: Definitely not.

Bro 1: But if we WERE...

Bro 2: Like... that'd be totally hot. Just gettin' it on right here, right now, two naked, sexy bodies melding in the hot water and the sunshine.

Bro 1: Bro... that sounds really hot. I mean, that WOULD sound really hot. Um, if I was into that...

Bro 2: (Nervously) Um... y-yeah, same. Which I'm not...

(Long silence.)

Bro 2: So... uuuuhhhh... you wanna do it?

Bro 1: (Pause) ...Sure, why not?

(Sloshing of water as the two of them toss aside their drinks and get it on.)

Bro 1: (In between kisses) Just remember, this isn't gay at all.

Bro 2: (Panting) ...Nope, totally not.

Bro 1: (Moaning as they continue to make out and caress each other) Not even a little bit...

(Fade out to more aggressive smooching, splashing of waves, &c.)