"Oh, so you think tingles are your ally? But you merely adopted the tingles. I was born in them. Molded by them. I didn’t get a tingle until I was already a man, and by then to me it nothing but relaxing. The ear nom noms betray you because they belong to me."

(With especial apologies to livejoker, from whom I nicked this gem of a line. May have been brought on by watching "Bane Plays Slender" one too many times on YouTube.)

Tags: [A4A] [Script offer] Bane-SMR [ASMR, but it's just Bane telling you that you suck] [Mask breathing sounds] [Ear nom noms] [Softly cracking henchmen's necks] [You merely adopted the tingles. I was born in them. Molded by them.] [That's a lovely, lovely voice] [Your relaxation must be more severe] [Then you have my permission to sleep] [Shitpost, obviously]

Disclaimer: This is a shitpost, written by a supposed adult, intended for an adult audience. All characters depicted, despite appearances, are actually 100,000-year old demi-gods or over. The author does not condone any of the following behaviour in real life, (or reading this script in the first place, for that matter).

My script repository can be found here. As always, thank you for your interest.

Script:

You knew what this was before you clicked it.

*Ahem*...

Disclaimer: This is a shitpost, written by a supposed adult, intended for an adult audience. All characters depicted, despite appearances, are actually 100,000-year old demi-gods or over. The author does not condone any of the following behaviour in real life, (or reading this script in the first place, for that matter).

Tags: [A4A] [Script offer] Bane-SMR [ASMR, but it's just Bane telling you that you suck] [Mask breathing sounds] [Ear nom noms] [Softly cracking henchmen's necks] [You merely adopted the tingles. I was born in them. Molded by them.] [That's a lovely, lovely voice] [Your relaxation must be more severe] [Then you have my permission to sleep] [Shitpost, obviously]

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Bane-SMR

-----------------

(Soft mask breathing sounds for a moment)

...Why are you here?

(Mask breathing sounds continue for a while)

Come now, dear listener. Let's not stand on ceremony here. Do you think you can deceive me? I *know* what you are here for. You desire the ear nom noms. The electrifying thrills that only soft whispers and quiet sounds can send throughout your body. Isn't that right?

You don't think there are any tingles to be found in this audio? Oh, really? Then why are *you* here?

You clicked this audio by accident, you say?

...I see. You think I'm only a recording, don't you? That you can pause me at any moment, or dismiss me simply by closing your browser? And this gives you power over me? Tell me... do you *feel* in charge?

Oh, so you think tingles are your ally? But you merely adopted the tingles. I was born in them. Molded by them. I didn’t get a tingle until I was already a man, and by then to me it nothing but relaxing. The ear nom noms betray you because they belong to me.

It doesn't matter who we are. What matters is our plan... to put you to sleep. No-one cared who *I* was 'till I picked up the mic. Now, we came here not as conquerors, but as liberators to return control of ASMR to the people. We take it from the corrupt, the oppressors who have kept you down with false promises of aural stimulation, and we give it back to you... the listener.

Hmmm... You don't fear rest. You welcome it. Your relaxation must be more severe.

(Mask breathing sounds for a moment)

So, as I softly terrorize your ears, I will feed you hope to corrupt your mind. I will let you believe that you can stay awake, in spite of the tingles. When you have truly reached the depths of your peace of mind, we will fulfill R'has al Ghul's destiny. We will overload your senses with the ear nom noms. And then, when it is done, and your willpower is... ashes... then you have my permission to sleep.

I know what you're thinking: "That's a lovely, lovely voice". Yes, I quite agree. That is why you should submit to me, and let the ear nom noms worm their way into your soul. It would be extremely comfy... (mask breathing sounds) ...for you.

Listener, take control. Take control of your breathing. This? This audio is the instrument of your repose.

Now is not the time for sleep. That comes later. Now... let the ASMR begin!

(Crinkling of paper? sounds)

Do you like that? Yes, I find it quite soothing, myself.

Oh, that? That was only one of my henchmen who recently failed me. Now, here is another... (more cracking noises) Hmmm... Most relaxing, yes...

Now... how about this?

(Bane chant for a moment, but in a whispery, ASMR manner)

Ah, yes. I was wondering which would succumb to the ear nom noms first: Your spirit... or your body.

Yes. The chest rises. And falls. And rises again. And falls. You are ready. You may go to sleep... for now.