Just something short (ish), sweet (ish), and romantic (ish). Really it turned out more to be an inner monologue than anything else, but I hope it resonates with someone, and I hope it helps someone else.

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This script is free to be used on any platform, commercially and non-commercially. Please do credit me in it as u/igrokyou, and drop me a message letting me know where it's been filled, if you can. THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO OTHER SCRIPTWRITERS ON REDDIT.

Improvisation is happily encouraged, and do feel free to change lines, add, or remove them.

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[F4F] My Sunshine Girl [monologue]

...I've always wondered what it would be like to have never have met you at all. What dim shadows that weren't to be filled with sunshine, what jagged lines that would not be filled with light.

Your light and your smile and your touches and your kisses and your soothing words, words to build me back up after the weight that is the world presses down on me and crushes me to little despairing bits. Over and over and over, but then you give me a call, or you come over unexpectedly to hold me, and then suddenly each little bit heals, gets put together, with your sunshine like gold.

And I feel that I am more beautiful, more put-together, every time you do. How careful you are with my broken pieces, with your gentle touch. And it's... miraculous.

The girl I was could not have believed that you like an angel would come to me that way. Because you are sunshine, my beautiful girl... you are my sunshine girl.

I remember... trying to put words together in the right formation, in the right way, in the right tone, to tell my small self, my broken self, the little girl that was me at 14, hurting so desperately that she would wager her everything on a world that didn't care, put herself out there to burn in the regard of all the harsh stares and harsh words and hard looks and creeping hands.

All the boys and the people that would only hurt her - hurt me - more and more and more. I'm still struggling to put together words that would heal me altogether, put me back into something whole, something beautiful and bright, something like who you are to me - so I can be that person for you.

I never quite can, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know I still have to, that I can't rely only on your sunshine and kisses to heal it all. I don't want to drain your sunshine into me, and leave you empty.

There is a fire in me. There is a fire in my stomach and that fire is anger and frustration. Frustration at the world for being the way it is. And I'll stand up and say it, when other people don't. But... my sunshine girl... you've told me that sometimes you reach out to hold me because I ground you. The way I see the world, as it is. [quiet laugh] But in reality... you ground *me.*

There was a change in the way I loved myself, before and after I met you. Before you, I was mostly self-hating; hating the world and the people in it, but most of all, hating myself. Hating all the boys who'd grab me by the wrist, by the hand, by the hair, by other things and other places, in the dark rooms and on roads home from school after hours, who were creeps, who stole up with their grabbing hands and their lines about how I must have wanted it, must have wanted their touch.

And I hated them, and I hated myself, for somehow just not ever managing to stop it, even though I tried, even though I tried. And it hasn't gone away, not even today - did I tell you - but somehow, when I'm talking to you it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

Because you remind me of all the clouds I've yet to see, all the flowers waving in the wind, each individual color and pattern on their petals. You remind me of lazy days spent lying in your living room watching the rain beat against the windows, with your hand wrapped loosely around mine, holding me together with just that, your presence, your comfort, your touch.

Before you I was falling into the pit of me, of my pain and my hurt and wrapping darkness around darkness, self-hate on regret. After, well, sometimes I get to see the sun. Sometimes the days aren't bleak and dark and cold, sometimes the days are light and glowing and warm. And I can feel the unfamiliar shape of a smile against my lips, I can feel the lightness of laughter bubbling up within me, I can feel the sun beaming down on me from above and from beside me, where you are.

Being with you, how you hold space for me, how you listen to me when I'm quiet, when I'm loud, I wonder: what is it like never to have known you, my sunshine girl? Sometimes I think I'd be bracing against the flow of the wind that rushes, that beats me down, that pastes me against the walls and draws out my most fearful, most despairing bits. But I know you'll come to me, because you always have, and peel me off and shine a light on me, and I'll melt upwards into existence again, just so that I can hold you again.

...I don't know. I hope I've said enough words to draw a picture, and drawn enough pictures to tell you even an infinitesimally small amount of what you do for me, and to me.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for being sunshine, my sunshine, my sunshine girl.

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