I've grown to fear sex, Hate sex, Loathe sex. The filth, the grime, the escape. I used it like a prescription, The cries of pleasure more fulfilling than Zoloft.

I see the empowerment videos online, of women teaching women to love their bodies and I want that. I want to love my body rather than take pride in the scars and callouses. I want to dance naked without feeling embarrassed. I want to lie back in bed and stroke my cock as an act of love. Not degrading, not shameful, but loving.

My soul is satin and rose while my body is DeWalt. Because that's being a man. Duct tape as a band-aid instead of rest and healing.

Teach me to fuck myself with love. I want to fuck with love.