Song lives here! Enjoy!

TL;DR - As a sufferer of Aspergers Syndrome, this song speaks to me on a deep and personal level.

DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor, and I do not speak for all aspies (those afflicted with Aspergers Syndrome). Everything I say here is based on personal experience and interaction with others like me. This seems an odd place to talk this kind of thing, but fuck it.

Aspergers Syndrome. I'm afflicted with it. In my unprofessional opinion based on personal experience, at the end of the day, all it is is mild, high-functioning autism. Nevertheless, it can make things difficult. Particularly one's love life.

Strangely enough, I have yet to meet a fellow aspie who is not a huge music nut. I think that's because emotions are like a foreign language to people like us, and since music conveys emotion in ways words never can, we latch onto it because it seems to fill that gap. And just like neurotypical people (people with no mental afflictions), we sometimes find a song that speaks to us on a level we can barely understand.

So this one is mine. And the lyrics prove it.

I've been waiting for a guide to come and take me by the hand/Could these sensations make me feel the pleasures of a normal man

Often times, this aspie wants nothing more than to feel like a normal person does. Not knowing if that's even possible, all he can do is wonder if they'll ever meet someone who can show them.

these sensations barely interest me for another day

In spite of all this, an aspie could lose interest in some emotional thing. Or anything for that matter.

getting faster, moving faster now, it's getting out of hand

Frequently, when something emotional comes, instead of feeling it, he will gloss it over and enter a logical state of mind, because that is what he knows. Emotions are like an alien language to him.

I'm watching you, I'm watching her, I'll take no pity from your friends

In the end, what he usually ends up doing is just watching. Watching other people feel. When others attempt to reach out to him, he shuts them out because he may be convinced that he can't be like them. So their (perceived) pity is being wasted.

I've got the spirit, but lose the feeling/I've got the spirit, but lose the feeling

And even when he sincerely wants to learn this strange tongue that is the emotion neurotypicals feel, he ends up losing the sensation of what emotions he might feel for any number of reasons...

In the end, we can at least take comfort in one thing: music is universal. It speaks to us all, smart or dumb, tall or short, strong or weak, male or female. Thanks for reading, and enjoy me singing this amazing song by Joy Division. Disorder.