Hey you,

The reason I'm on mute is because my doctor ordered me to be...literally. Short story; I had the boss-ass-bitch of the throat infection world which dommed my vocal cords into oblivion. Even though I'm better now (after a hospital stay with a delightful ward sister named Cookie) my voice is rip-ing in pieces.

(For those med nerds like me, I actually have vocal fold paresis caused by complications of peritonsillar abcess)

I wouldn't make such a fuss if this was a normal 'I've lost my voice' thing, this time my old voice is gone - as in there is a very small chance I will sound the same when it comes back. I can't make any vocal noise at all for 2 weeks, then I have months of vocal therapy, then an injection into my vocal cord. Then we'll see what I sound like after.

I'm told the likelihood is that my voice will come back either deeper, huskier, quiter, thinner, or a combination of those. So it might not be all bad, I wouldn't rue sounding like Batman.

I don't mean this to come off as egotistical but by sod's law I've had a ton of messages and requests and lovely things like that recently asking me to record stuff so I thought I'd explain that I'm not just being an absolute bastard and ignoring you all.

Thanks to everyone and anyone who enjoyed (enjoys?) listening to me - I hope I'm not too different for you when I come back after Ursula smashes the necklace she's keeping my voice in...that fabulous bitch.