So I haven't been around for several months. Hi, y'all, I'm still alive and I have not forgotten about you. I miss you.

I think I have a problem that's been keeping me from posting. There's a large part of my sexual history that's been traumatic. I've been through a lot of situations in which I wasn't fully consenting to whatever sexual activity happened. And I guess these instances have affected me a lot more than I'd thought they did after they happened.

Just thinking about the possibility of sex is difficult for me in ways it's never been before. I feel physically sick when I think about it.

But here's the thing... I'm really fucking tired of feeling this way. I want my life back, I want my sexuality back, and I want this hobby back (when I get a better mic, the one on my new computer is weird). So I want to take a stand and reclaim my sexuality but I don't know how to start.

I guess what this post is about is looking for support and resources. And ideas about what a good starting point would be.

Lots of love to all of you.