So, I'm a uni student studying computer science in London, and I'm in my 3rd year. Lately, however, I've not really been my best self: lots of procrastination, falling behind on deadlines, not exercising much, having no sense of routine. I've tried plenty of things to try and get my life back together, but it seems that trying to find motivation from within is just not going to happen. The only thing that seems to work for me is when there's someone else who is aware of what I'm doing and can see whether I've been productive or now so I have a sense of accountability for my actions in the short term. You could just be trying to help me stay accountable without needing it yourself, or it could of course be a 2 way thing where we help each other stay accountable and productive.

Other than just an accountability partner, however, I'm also looking for someone who can be my friend at the same time. I'm a fairly reserved person and other than a few acquaintances at uni I don't actually talk to anyone or have any real friendships. I'd like if the person I'm looking for could also just be my friend, someone I can talk to about life, what's going on, any shared hobbies, concerns, maybe play some games together occasionally, that kind of thing. Plus, if I'm actually friends with my accountability partner, then the shame I'll feel by being a disappointment and not doing my work would probably be greater, which helps in this case lol.

Here are the main things I'd be looking for more concretely:

Keeping to our goals - every day, either right in the morning or just before going to sleep we'd share our goals for the day/next day and then throughout the day we'd send pictures as proof that we're doing what we said we would. We can then reflect on it at the end of the day together

Calls - sometimes if I need to focus, I find it helps when someone else is there as a kind of study/work partner. We don't have to actually talk, just be in each other's presence and act as a reminder not to get distracted. Ideally I'd actually share my computer screen too so you can see I'm not just wasting my time there

"Other stuff" - now, the reason I put this as a M4F and not M4A is because of this. Me feeling shame and your disappointment at me for not doing my work is a great deterrent, but negativity can only go so far. Ideally there would be some kind of "rewards system" and the only thing I can think of that actually feels like a reward to me (other than money, but obviously that won't work) would be having someone willing to get intimate together and have some fun, maybe send pics, that kind of stuff. Yeah, that probably sounds a bit odd, and obviously that would come way later once we're comfortable and know each other, but I really do think it could work. That would probably make you more of a FWB than just a friend though, lol

If anyone is interested then I'll be happy to talk and see if we can work something out between us. I'm not bothered by age or location, but I would prefer the timezone difference between me in the UK and you to not be too great. But I'm sure we could make it work no matter where you are.

I think that's about everything, so thank you for reading if you got here, and I hope to talk to some of you soon😁