Well hullo there. Big baldy beardo here.

Looking for someone local to fall for in the worst way (Not asking much, eh?) I have all the time in the world, and then some, to share with the right person. So if you're about talking to someone morning, noon, and night, feeling your heart flutter when your phone lights up, we might be on the same wavelength.

I'm a bit of a homebody, and that's not something I'm massively looking to shake up, but having someone eager to get out and about from time to time, get into misadventures on a whim, roll the dice at the train station and get stranded in Rochester or something? Sounds like fun to me.

Also pretty guarded at first, so anyone looking for a quick night of fun is probably better served by the dozens of other posts on Reddit that are more in that vein.

A suite of little ambitions I have, if any of them resonate with you, that is probably a good thing.

• I've been slowly stepping away from digital gaming to dip my toe into board games, and it'd be swell to have someone else starting on that journey, or who wants to chaperone muggins through rulebooks as thick as your arm.

• I want to watch the sunrise on a grotty English beach to stoke the flames of nostalgia.

• There aren't enough musicals in my life. I'll settle for regular theatre if I must, but there's just something about weirdos singing about their strifes, right?

• When it warms up again, I want to start arting out and about. Full park bench action! Get some delightful scenery down on canvas. Drawing, painting, interpretative poetry, any or all. It'll help if you suck at it as well, but I won't hold talent against you.

• I'd love to visit more restaurants. I have the palate of a relatively abused dumpster, so I don't know good from bad, and could probably do with developing a better appreciation.

So if you wanna talk a whole heap, see if we make sense to meet and grab a drink or whatever it is people do these days, sling me a hey and... oh I dunno... let me know which world record you think you could totally bag if you went for it, or better still if you already have one.