Hello Again Syd. Hope you're not too tired of my ramblings and my only slightly matching songs. I'd like to talk about someone if you're alright with it:

Something to Believe in - Young the Giant

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_ZRWZv14SA

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Sydney, my goal here is to give you something, anything to believe in me. If I fail, I fail. But I'm going on all out on a whim, to reach to you that while I may not be the best candle, I'm one that wants to shine bright for you as long as you'll light me. I've been a slave to my mind for a long time, I've shown you that, but you've done something in a very short week. You've given me the motivation to do something I haven't in a very long time and make a playlist. You did that, so now I'm going to give it to you.

Yes, Young the Giant again, but how couldn't I include this song? It touches on two points that I really wanted to get across to you. So listen and enjoy as I attempt to tell you some cold hard facts.

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Gloria - The Midnight

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aeIkI-tQY4

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Unlike the other songs, I'd like you to first listen to this one without words from me. It's probably the best I have to offer all things considered. I'll be below when you.

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The Candle burns bright on both ends Sydney. I have a theory, and that is that people don't go looking for random Reddit posts for no reason. Now many men go for the sake of their poor lizard brain. While I get that mentality, that wasn't my cause. I was in a funk. I was on autopilot, I wasn't sleeping, and I needed out. So I shoot a few messages out because hey why the fuck not right? Outdoor activities are something that often bring me eustress, so let's encourage myself to get that back. But I got more than I bargained for.

No you see Syd, you were (and are) my Gloria for this past week. A flick of the wrist and my funk was gone, my autopilot shut off, my eyes open again. It wasn't the weather, it wasn't drugs (obviously), it was you. It was your sassy attitude, sometimes rude sleepy self, your smirk, delightful ability to make any conversation glow, it was you. That's why I'm here right now, trying desperately to put to words what I put to notes last night in a frantic desire to do something right. I think you're an amazing, beautiful, smart, actually literally unbelievable person. But I don't want you to pinch me and wake me up, I'd much rather stay next to the girl who doesn't see what I do.

After Hours - We Are Scientists

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XXfqPRG4TQ

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I lost track of our time together. It felt like seconds, yet it felt like so much longer at the same time. Time meant nothing during this week, because I spent it talking about nothing and everything with you Sydney. We went After Hours, sometimes each just looking at a blank screen trying to figure out what to say when words didn't freely come, only knowing that we both wanted to stay as long as we could before conking out. That hasn't changed for me Syd, look at me, spending my time on this silly project, just to tell you the words that I'm struggling with in hopes that you even read this. I feel we were both where we were supposed to be last week, and this happened so naturally because of it. My door's open, please don't shut yours.

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Believe it or not I compiled 33 songs last night. Originally that was going to be titled "The Spectrum of Ryan", but I fear that undertaking would have been massive and in fairness to a sleepy me, most of those songs just didn't fit. I also didn't have the courage to go too "out there" with the song selection, because I want you to actually be able to listen to it. So instead, after biking this morning, clearing my mind, I put my super awesome WPM skills to use.

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Syd, I'm sorry I left you feeling like you were shot. I can't take that back. What I can do is make it up to you. So please let me. If you made it this far, you know how I feel, you know how I think, and you know I'd give up quite a bit to even just sit down at a bench and talk to you. You're an amazing, glowing person. Let me shine my candle's light on you.

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Yes, I didn't talk about the last two songs, but I can, just ask me about them ;)

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- Ryan