recently i have been on a journey with my self confidence and social life. i have met so many new friends it feels like i have met more people in the past year than in the other 18 years of my life. it’s been truly amazing and i feel more myself than ever. even with all of the amazing connections and memories, one things continues to bewilder me.

time and time again someone will say they need friends, we’ll make a connection, there will be good energy, we express mutual interest of becoming friends, i continue to msg them, invite them to things, only for them to never come or message me until months later when they send me a paragraph or comment about how amazing they think i am and how they want to hangout with me. anytime i talk to them it’s nothing but sweet things and enthusiasm. when i say enthusiasm i mean enthusiasm, sending large paragraph or using caps if over text, talking continuously, talking about specific plans they want to do. this isn’t just a “oh we should grab a coffee sometime” situation either. they’ll say they want to do xyz with me. again and again. but they simply never hangout with me or invite me anywhere.

i don’t expect anyone to do anything they don’t want to do. i don’t chase people. i don’t expect any of my friends to come out often. i know a lot of people struggle with anxiety or depression or illness or they have children or demanding jobs. but it just feels deceiving. i’ve talked to some of the same people for 2 years. and it’s always the same story. why can’t people just be honest

i am neurodivergent. i can have a hard time understanding others especially those who are shy or reserved. i’ve made so many amazing friends. socializing isn’t necessarily difficult for me but it’s different. any perspectives will be appreciated