I recently got a new job. I was doing fine up until today. Today was just a bad day. I was completely off at work and I kept making mistakes. I feel totally out of it. I feel like I don't make enough to get my own place. I feel like I'm not going to get anywhere in life.

I ran into a friend from high school a few months ago. We exchanged info and hit it off. We started off well enough always excited to hang out and do things and be around each other. He expressed wanting to date and talked about how he liked me in high school. We would talk about that. He said he wanted to date me. When I said the same thing next we hung out he changed. He pushed me to see other people. It kind of hurt. That last time we hung out it was nice and unplanned and we enjoyed each others company but I can see how much he wanted to leave. We didn't see each other for a month and I finally got him to talk. Kept switching up between did and does like me. Said he held weird and didn't know what he was supposed to do. I told him how his actions made me feel without sounding bitter or bitchy. Just as it was. And I told him just be happy do what he needs to.

We drifted. I was bitter and sad with myself. I regret letting someone in so soon. It's not his fault. He can feel how he feels he's allowed to but damn it really hurts when people switch up on you. We don't talk anymore I cut him off. He blocked me. I tried calling him yesterday and it went straight to voicemail.

I really don't like myself. I don't know what I'm looking for here.