I live in the extremes of funny and dour, and today I'm feeling dour. Recent experiences (albeit mundane) have reminded me of the extent of my inner damage, as well as the slow, cancerous grudge against myself and the world which threatens to snuff out my life. Because I do myself no favors with this introspective darkness, allow me to outline some positives of dating me:

• I own my own home
• I practice basic hygiene
• I have a job. It isn't terribly interesting, but it's a job with money and benefits
• I have a big puppy to cuddle with
• I have a vast media and comic library, as well as a wide array of novels and nonfiction
• I exercise regularly, so I can go on walks or whatever
• Increasingly regular bouts of depression have rendered me so numb that I'll probably try anything once, if only to chase the delusion of happiness
• I don't drink much or do drugs (but if you smoke pot then that's fine)
• I have a car
• I'm not a sex pest, and care more about emotional intimacy prior to physical intimacy
• I have long-terms goals, even if I get frequently distracted
• I can cook. Kind of
• I'm not a sociopath or a murderer
• I believe a woman's body is her choice, and will raid the badlands with a ragtag group of mercenaries to buy Plan B for you if I ever need to
• I generally try not to be a dickhead

Now with that said, here are the negatives:

• I'm allergic to cats and I don't want kids. If you have kids then so be it, but I don't want any

Wow, what a catch, said someone somewhere maybe.

I should also specify that I'm limiting my search to the US, since life is already hard enough without having to be anxious both a trip and possibly having my heart broken. Would also be great if you live in the Virginia/DC area, because person-to-person interactions are more valuable than online stuff.

I'm not asking for anyone to save my life. I just want some proof there's something worth saving.