Hello, I’m a 32 year old Hispanic male living in TX. I currently work as an engineer for a major refinery in the area, so my time outside of work can be fairly limited and I find it hard to make new connections outside of just work colleagues who sometimes go out for drinks.

To give some history, I recently moved back to Texas late last year. Before that, I was moving around the country for work for about 3 years. First in Oregon, a few months in Iowa, and then in Chicago before making my way back to Texas on a job offer I just couldn’t turn down. Throughout that time, I’ve found it hard to make connections outside of my current (mostly online) friend group. At first I blamed it on moving around so much. But I had over a year in most places I stayed to go out, get to know the area, and maybe find some connections. So that can’t be it, right?

I find myself feeling lonely, more now than ever since I’ve decided to stick it out with this company for the long term and make the most of my career that I can here. But even with that loneliness in mind, how do I go about making friends, let along finding a partner now? I don’t really go out to clubs or party anymore. I go to the gym and a few coffee shops when I have the time, but I doubt you want to be approached by a random man while you’re doing your workout or working and enjoying your drink. Maybe I’m too in my own head, I’m not sure.

So what am I looking for? I’m looking for a companion to spend time with. Someone I can have plans for dinner with, someone to just mindlessly do nothing in the same vicinity with, to send bad memes to while we sit feet apart. I’m not looking to have a codependent relationship, been there done that, but to find someone who is stable in their life and knows what a healthy relationship is like. Age isn’t too much of a factor, to a certain degree, though I would prefer someone who isn’t going to need me to guide them through early adulthood.

I am stable enough in my income to be able to support a stay at home partner and be able to fund their hobbies and give us a comfortable life. So if you’d rather be a homemaker, that’s fine with me. If you want to work, that’s fine as well. I don’t aim to take anyone’s autonomy away, simply to find someone to share life’s joys with. I would just ask that if you choose to stay home, please help with some organization and potential cooking when I’m running a bit too late at the office.

I want to clarify that children aren't for me. Please don't try to change that, you won't. And it'll just be a really awkward conversation if you try to.

Do I have physical preferences? Of course I do, I think we all do. My preferences are more with how someone presents themselves and takes care of their appearance more so than specific physical characteristics. My job has certain social functions that I sometimes have to attend and showing up well dressed and well put together can be a big factor in terms of image and perception. And you know what they say? “Perception is reality”, at least in the corporate world. I want to clarify, I’m not trying to find a model to date, I just want someone who can clean up nicely when necessary. I know it’s a vain ask, but sometimes you have to play the corporate game in order to be able to get to where you want to make a difference.

I want to go ahead and give a disclaimer so that you don’t waste your time. I am in the larger side at the moment and am working on losing the weight for both aesthetic and health reasons. To give you an idea, I currently weight 260 and my end goal weight is 175. I am working with my doctor, a nutritionist, and a trainer to reach this and have already made progress. But if this isn’t something you’d want to be around for, or I’m just not your type that’s fine. Please don’t waste both of our time by making fun of my weight or mocking my efforts to become a better me. I know how easy that can be done through a screen and a keyboard.

If you actually read all of this rambling mess and any of it resonated with you, shoot me a message and we can chat. No expectations, just a friendly exchanging of words.