Hello :<

I'm writing this while I'm tired af. I am a freak. My post history is freaky. Saucy stuff is what I usually think about and do but it's not... ideal when it's casual ig? What I'm trying to say is I make blue humor jokes in the beginning, I talk about saucy stuff, but that doesn't mean I'm expecting anything saucy especially in the early stages. I just didn't want you to look at my post history and think..., well... I just didn't want you to look at my post history lol. Whatever it's fine.

I go to a poggers college, but I'm on break and will be returning byackkkkk like after this summer idk. So, I'm on break because I'm mentally ill with depression and anxiety (lol nice to meet you, I'm autistic apparently too 😀) and uh... my hobbies are pretty lacking like, I have a personality but I only have my academic/career side and saucy expression side fleshed out.

I used to game. I write here and there, but it's just random philosophical ideas, ideas for a very messed up and edgy game I want to make eventually, other little pieces of cringy writing, and business ideas. I didn't watch many movies or tv shows growing up and me being a romantic ig I want to hold off on those now until I can experience them with a partner lol. I have been watching the Scream series though with someone online. Usually I just watch youtube, "enjoy myself," listen to asmr, learn about random stuff, maybe listen to some niche ghostemane-sounding artists, and then like, I'm trying to lose weight by eating less but I'd like to eat like shit again here and there in the future without gaining back the weight lol.

I'm like 5'9", 190 ish lbs (hmu in a month and I'll be sub 190 xp), large frame, long brown hair that's already balding ahhh, glasses, blue eyes, etc, etc... blegh sorry too tired to go on lol.

Look I like at a lot of saucy stuff, idk if I'm 100% monogamous, but with my limited experience, I liked to be more saucy than I'm supposed to, and I didn't want to put my ex through that anymore. I'm also not a very jealous person I don't think, but idk maybe it's just luck and idk my own jealousy lol. But uh, back to what I was saying... I like saucy stuff and idc what your body type is or whatever sauce I mentioned in whatever post. I just generally want someone who is at least somewhat healthy, or at least striving towards that. Everything else though, not to be cliche but I crush the hardest over personality (☝️🤓), facial structure, and voice. And I don't have a type per se, so if you're like muuuuu my face is ugly, respectfully, stfu lol (not actually, but also like, that's silly of you to think that). Everyone is beautiful, and idc if you do or don't look like a stereotypical model. I get insecure too with that stuff, but idk I felt like being cold today ig lol. I like conventionally and unconventionally attractive women, and it really depends on what fits with what. I can't tell you if I'm into you just by reading it on here. Same with voice. Someone out there will be attracted to you whether you like it or not, and maybe that's me (I hope so 🤞).

So, for you, I mostly just want a few things. I want to be physically attracted to you, emotionally attracted to you, romantically attracted to you, and safe with you. I don't cry right now, but I'd like to get there. I ramble a lot, but I've noticed it's not enough to just have someone hear me... I want them to engage in my rambles when I talk about a semi-autistic interest like gta speedruns or fnaf challenges lol, or especially when I'm overwhelmed. I need a lot of reassurance right now as well as calming down, but that's improving with therapy. Although, holy swear if you can help me not feel overwhelmed, I'll swoon.

But basically, I gotta sleep bad. I rush relationship stuff. I want to be the emotional sponge and have you support me for the most part. I want to own a business. Idk if I said that. I want to retire early and enjoy a very deep connection with my Mo... uh "mothy" partner. I like being the one courted, but what guy doesn't lol (ik some actually don't lol). I have (maybe autistic related?) mental breakdowns sometimes that I might want help with being calmed down, down the road. It's not as bad as it sounds on paper imo. And the biggest thing is, I can't trust myself to lead the pace of the relationship, so I would need to rely on you to do that. Like, it's SUPER important. I put in effort, but then I mask my feelings because I'm supposed to be lovely, but I end up feeling no chemistry. Also I'm clingy... qhah gotta sleeb now okie byeyeye :)