(I posted this yesterday on /r/suicidewatch but I realize that it was SUPERBOWL SUnDAy SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY WITH TRAVIS SCOTT WOWOWOWOWOWOWO so no one really payed attention. Either that or I'm so vain and narcissistic I'm blaming an entire event on no one seeing my pathetic post .)

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Didn't make a throwaway cause ehhh I'm already this far in anyway. I usually don't cry out for help but I'm a very impulsive person so here we are. I'm a freshman in college and just kinda sliding by through life. Don't regularly go to class. Don't do homework. I have one or two friends but i keep to myself. I'll spend up to two days on the internet sometimes. Broken up by periods of sleeping surrounded by my laptop and phone, blasting media. Guess its my way of not being alone. My home life is very stressful. The parent i connect with and trust is very ill right now and i don't want to bother them. The other parent i hate and despise for various reasons. Christmas break was very tense and i fought with my parents often and never left my room. That's also when i started isolating myself. Funny enough I'm happier at school because I'm not near my stressful family. But at the same time I'm so cripplingly lonely. I used to talk to myself in my dorm for hours even, to break the silence. I can't keep smoking weed and watching YouTube for months like i have been. My money's running out, and the coolness of it has Definitely died down. I have no vision. No one i can talk to. No future. No hope. God i wish i was dead.