TL;DR: Losing your virginity to an escort doesn’t have to be a bad experience depending on who you choose and how you think of the experience. I personally had a good experience.

I’m 28M, I’m a longtime member of this sub but I’m mostly a lurker so many of you won’t know my username. Just wanted to share my experience of losing my virginity to an escort for anyone here who had some thoughts about that pathway. I know a lot of people here believe going to an escort will be a bad experience.

I lost my virginity to an escort in December last year (at the age of 27). She was highly recommended to me by other people who know more than I do about that stuff. It's legal where I live so there's a popular online forum where some escorts and their clients just hang out and chat. Usually not even sexual stuff, it's just like a little online community brought together by this shared interest, perhaps not unlike any typical subreddit. I spent a lot of time on that forum and asked a lot of questions before I actually made a booking. A lot of people said “you'll still know you had to pay for it and it's not the same,” while the majority of others had that "just get it over with" advice. I found both positions to be valid but I ultimately went through with it because I was thinking of it not as some life-changing event, but as just paying for a new experience (there are many comparable non-sexual examples). In fact, a few people on that forum made a strong case that most people’s “first time” isn’t exactly amazing, but this way I get to do it on my terms with a professional who has a lot of experience dealing with nervous, first time clients and who genuinely wants to make sure she provides an excellent service because her reputation, and thus her livelihood, rides on that.

I don't regret that I lost it that way at all. I'd still like to have sex with someone who actually just wants to have sex with me because she likes me, but I don't think having my "first time" with an escort in any way invalidates any other sexual encounters I might have in my lifetime. Since the first time, I've had sex with 6 different escorts, usually coinciding with other things (e.g. once was on my birthday, another time I was on a trip to another city, another day I'd just accomplished something I was working on and wanted to "treat myself", in much the same way that someone else might go out and have an extra nice dinner). Even though I've fucked 6 women (who I had to pay) I'm still very much FA but I think the one psychological advantage it gives me is the knowledge that if things did go in that direction "for real" with someone I will probably be a lot more comfortable and I'll know a thing or two. I've also found that with some of the escorts I've been with, they are very eager to teach you and get you to try different stuff with them, and they actually enjoy a sort of inexperienced "blank canvas"... It's like, it makes them want to put even more effort into blowing your mind... Admittedly, it's probably to encourage you to become a "regular" who keeps coming back for more, but if they're legitimately putting effort into making sure you have a great time, how can that possibly be a bad thing? :)

I'm terms of the intimacy aspect, good escorts (I always do my research) will really make you feel special and wanted. You know in your mind that it's not "real" but you'll never see any trace of it on her face or in her body language. She'll make you feel like she really wants you to have an amazing time, so contrary to what a lot of people think, it really can be an intimate experience. I will add that of the 6 times I’ve had this experience since December 2017, 4 of those experiences were very sensual and intimate. Of the two that weren’t, one was downright depressing (the lady was very mechanical about it and I was having a bad day in general so I was in a bad headspace about it too) and the other one wasn’t “intimate” insofar as she seemed to just wanna focus on the physical activity itself, not much talking or eye contact, etc. The other 4 times really sold that “girlfriend experience” or “GFE” (which is what escorts call an intimate session, for those who don’t know the terminology).

I enjoy it and that's why I’ve done it 6 times and I will definitely continue doing it (unless I miraculously break out of FA). I’d do it more often if it wasn’t for the cost involved (I’m not a rich man). It's also worth noting that when it comes to enjoying the experience, a lot of it is reciprocity. If you are sweet, polite and respectful, they will treat you in kind. They deal with a lot of assholes (as you can imagine) so when a relaxed, shy, polite guy like me (and probably many other FAs) walks through the door, they will be really sweet and patient with you.

My hope, like most others here, is that someday I'll meet and fall in love with someone who genuinely likes me and wants to be with me because she loves me, not because it's her job. Just wanted to share my experiences as an FA who has had sex with escorts multiple times in case there are others here who have been thinking of going the same route.

If anyone has any more questions about the experience of going to an escort or dealing with sex workers in general please don’t hesitate to ask and I’ll answer what I can.