Social anxiety is a problem that I'm sure many of us are familiar with. Personally I've deleted two OKcupid accounts because I was embarrassed of messages I had sent and the fact that they got no reply. Getting myself to send those messages in the first place was hard enough, and lack of replies just reaffirmed my fears. I even had some conversations that I had dropped because I wasn't sure how to reply and I was worried about making the girl even more disinterested than she already was. It's like a self fulfilling prophecy, but at the same time I can't even be sure if it is.

I'm always the guy that people feel the need to point out how quiet I am and I hate that. There's just no way to prove them wrong. Throughout high school and college the only times I could really start talking to girls was by being the background friend to my friends or through something like Facebook. I would be the one who cracked jokes from time to time but did little else in terms of talking with them. Even in those situations I was always nervous about the responses I would get. What's even worse was the few times I was confident enough to get close to any girls I ended up being rejected and it was hard to keep any sort of confidence with that track record.

For the first two years of my college I wouldn't even say I had any real friends. Just casual acquaintances. I spent more time alone in my dorm room than I ever imagined because college is supposed to be the best time of your life and all that. It wasn't until I started searching for people with common interests through clubs that I found some friends and even that took awhile to happen because I started off so anxious with new people.

Even now as I type this I wonder if I should post this because I'm worried over nothing, but anxiety does that to you I guess. I just really wanted to get it off my chest.