Its been a long brutal life alone with constant moves and a difficult broke family. Endless chronic stress helped me get big. I've lost an ok amount and have been trending towards health. Yet us gayz seem to have no interest in connection unless they're super hot and probably looking the exact same (ever noticed how folks, esp gays, date themselves?). I'm having a hard lonely day. I wish i could cherish someone and build a partnership. I am trying to continue to improve with health, an mind frame, and class access. Personality wise i do fine with folks, but yet love seems impossible. I guess that's what i get for being a multi-level minority into minorities. I guess im posting this to release some energy. I wish we had a more connected social culture. It feels like there's nowhere to turn to connect to others. I know outlook and attitude matter and i'm trying to cultivate hope and good vibes, but somedays its rough.