And it’s such a defeating feeling. I feel like a child. I have no idea how to flirt or have confidence. Or even why they want. And I know they’re not all the same. But people have general desires. And for whatever reason I can’t figure it out. Still.

I tried this and that year after year. Being more confident. Being funny. Being serious. Being caring. Being aloof. Being vulnerable. Being strong. Showing interest. Not showing interest

It’s like I’m stuck playing a game you play when you’re a teenager learning the basics of Human interaction. But instead, I’m a grown man playing teenager games.

You could be a Rhodes scholar. But if you can’t find out how to attract people, you’ll feel like a complete idiot and loser.

I just wish something would work. For once. I’m begging please just for once let a girl that I like just even give me a fucking chance. I feel like crying all the time but Im so numb that I can’t even do that.

I honestly don’t think I’ll make it much longer like this. I’m constantly haunted by every unfulfilled desire and longing I have. This is no way to live. I can’t take it anymore. I’m losing my mind day by day and i dont know what’s left of it to even lose anymore