So I want to preface this by saying I do have friends with benefits outside my country, but I do not see them too often. I really I would like to move where they are as they have been supportive throughout this ordeal. With that disclaimer out of the way, here goes.

So for the longest time I knew I had health issues. Needed some dental work done, maybe some supplements here and there, maybe some therapy. You know, kinda the normal stuff. Idk why, but when the men's clinic said I had clinically low T, it snapped me out of the rat trap hope I had. Only if I did X would someone like me. Only if this were fixed. I realized the teeth issue will be fixed here shortly as will the hormonal imbalance, but it shifted the balance of responsibility from *I need to hide my autism and other shit so people like me* to *I need to really fucking fix my health for me so I feel better*. I still see attractive people and my female Uber driver asked if I liked women with Brazilian butt lifts. If she did not have kids and complained about her shitty date with a married man (my fwbs would complicate things), I may have asked. But overall it was kind of like my mind went into diagnostic mode like Windows so I could fix all my issues. Get my sinuses zapped, get vitamin D/glutathione injections, teeth fixed, T up (and probably sexually health up), and maybe DNA sequences to check for other shit my doc neglected. Also I need to work on my side hustle. In a way I am sad I lost potentially 15 years of depression and anxiety due to this, but now the anxiety of trying to be perfect went out the window and maybe for the first time my happiness and confidence can start to grow, regardless. I also need to save up for a few Young Pioneers Tours as well so I can enjoy what I have wanted to do. I realized this was one step too far and I need to get my health in order, regardless of whether someone likes me or not. It is the same as what people say, but you don't realize it until life slaps you on the face.