I am failing in my addiction to eating today I ate two breakfast pizza slices two doughnuts and a coffee for breakfast for lunch I ate two heaping plates of Chinese buffet and on the way home hours later I ate four doughnuts and a iced coffee I haven't binged like this in a while. I struggle to call this an addiction because I do choose to eat this crap I could eat else were or veggies I could but I don't I do own this this is my behavior idk why I'm putting this on reddit other than I need to own my own shit and maybe admitting this to strangers on the web under a random user name could be a step I take to talking to friends in real life. I'm mid 30s over 500 pounds divorced for many years now and I'm a functioning addict I have a job but I am somewhat homeless I am roommates with a friend after getting kicked out of family members house. I'm just literally at disgust with myself I never thought I'd be alive this long certainly not like this and there are days I don't want to be either not that I'm having unalive ideations