We're both middle aged she is a little older than me, we're both on the big side too. My sex drive is lower than what it was in my 20s of course, but hers WAS a lot higher. We had fights and talks about it but we eventually decided to invite a 3rd party. I'm bi and into voyeurism so i was ok with a swinger scenario but to ease into it we got a massage therapist she found on reddit that did traditional and tantric massages.
We were hoping he'd do more while i watched but he was very professional, we had bumps early on but we figured with this arrangement there would be no jealousy & by gf would get her fix which she did. I really don't care to see him massage her with just his hands which led them to sometimes getting massages while i worked in from home, we agreed to this as long as the room they were in was unlocked.
For a few months now she's been getting massages weekly. I don't suspect foul play, they leave the door unlocked and I've checked in and never seen them having sex. He refused sex originally! He really just uses his hands to massage her entire body and then edge her.
The issue is that before she had the high sex drive and i would maybe once a month want sex, but now she never wants sex. Her sex drive is gone she's content with just getting massages but when i was sex she's not in the mood.
I could end the massage sessions, she pays for it but i fear if i end it her drive will surpass mine again and then we're back to fighting about it. At my age i dont want sex everyday
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