I was scrolling down a few post and noticed that a lot of them are about people trying to uncover signs of flirting. Well, to those people, I wanna give the same advice my therapist told me.

For context, I was climbing with a guy I met at the gym. He is very friendly and I couldn't shake the feeling he was interested. But the age gap is big, and he could also only be over friendly. One day after a climbing session, he asked me for a drink. I panicked. I couldn't tell if it was alright to accept or not. And so I told my therapist how I was overthinking this. How I needed help.

He told me this: You can't possibly know what someone else is thinking. So, instead of analyzing every possible scenario for his intentions, I should focus on finding my own intentions toward him. When I connected with this person, what were my motives? Once you know what you want from your relationship with that person, then you'll be able to find out how you want to react in every situation.

So I thought about it. The reason I met this guy was so that I could climb. I think it's nice if we are friendly and connecting. However, as for now, I don't want to have a relationship with him outside of climbing. And with my mind clear, it is easier to set my boundaries. I think going for a drink at the gym is OK, it can stay friendly. Now I have my answer.

Well, of course, I won't say I'm not cautious and ignoring every signal either. It is just meant to show how to reduce overthinking. Remember, if you start wondering about what someone's else is thinking, you are probably projecting what you want onto them. Instead, ask yourself what your intentions are. And behave accordingly.

I hope this can help others like it helped me