As much as it pains me deeply to agree with what feels like it's skating really close to MRA/redp*ll stuff, the commenter who noted that your "friend zone" is full of husbands is not wrong.

Real (and sort of harsh) Talk: You want to be married? You settle.

A softer way of saying this is that most reasonably happy people who married realized that they won't get "it all." There WILl be an area where you spouse just isn't making the grade. My entirely unofficial observation is that the majority of people make compromises in the "looks" department. Instead of a "10", they are happy with a 6 or a 7. They decided that while a hot 19 year old cheerleader would be fun, a 32 year old single mom who is wonderful and loves them and has good character works just great too. They decided that a 6 pack abs hard charging businessman who's 6'5" is in high demand among all women and they took another look at the 5'8" cutie who is "adorable" rather than "face meltingly hot".

You should not compromise in the character and values department.

But you can and should compromise in terms of looks, "scorching hot" chemistry (a steady warmth is fine), interests and hobbies, lifestyle to some degree, politics, race (really. If you're only dating within your race on purpose you really need a wake up call. This doesn't mean you HAVE to change your preferences. But open your mind a bit), background, wealth/money/ambition, if they have kids already (and you're okay with kids), where they went to school, if they love working out and kayaking etc.

However, if that feels really unappealing, here's my other advice:

Church. You can find a husband at church. (Or similar small, local community events like volunteering).

But also here's my other-other advice:

You say you want "a husband". I used to be there too. I wanted to fill a man-shaped spot in my life. I am now in a serious, long term thing and have been for a few years and my urgency around getting married has lowered dramatically. It will happen when we're ready.

So take a look at more specifically what you want from a husband...and get that from another source as you work on finding the husband.

Do you want affection, attention, and approval? Friends, family, work.

Do you want sex and intimacy? Hookups, exes, friends with benefits.

Do you want companionship? Roommate. Or consider moving in with another single woman (or several) and forming a collective where you share the burden of life together--in a "grown up" home with a yard etc.

Do you want a sense of purpose and meaning? volunteer, start your own biz, work.

You get the idea.

I think "love yourself" and "be happy single" is very blah advice that doesn't help. HOW do you be happy? You figure out what a husband would bring to the table and you go out and get a version of that for yourself!

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