been working as an architect for three months on a 20 hour week. It started fine but has become progressively worse up untill this week when it got really bad. Generally i feel much better when i dont work at all to the point that i can almost be "normal" when i dont work. I choose to work by my own accord and i can live of welfare if choose to instead, however i hate feeling like a burden to society and having no purpose in life that comes with no job. recently though it feels like work is dragging me back down again into the abyss i was two years ago that i "recovered" from and i'm terrified of returning to that.

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just the thought of giving up on working brings me to tears, my passion is architecture and ive been super lucky to find a firm(a freind) that is willing to work with me despite my many limitations, i wont ever get an opportunity like this again so if i leave now that will be the end my hope for some sort of work in architecture......

i'm going to ask for a couple of days of to se if it gets any better but ive spent two years getting slowly better and i fear pushing through this might undo all of that recovery. Should i give up my dreams?

sorry for the rant i just a mess atm