Was just diagnosed with fibromyalgia and hypermobility arthritis earlier this month. I had pushed back against my D.O.’s hunch I had fibromyalgia because I had so much joint pain. Turns out there was a reason for it. I also was diagnosed with Reynard’s as well.

The rheumatologist who made the diagnoses told me I’ve been dealing with the fibromyalgia at least as far back as the late 1980s and the arthritis for 20-25 years as well. She also referred me to a sleep specialist because hypermobility affects things like the soft palate and because I cannot recall a time I slept well, some of my young, child parts are afraid to sleep (for totally understandable reasons).

She essentially said that my chronic inability to sleep well is the likely source of the fibromyalgia. While it wasn’t new, something about the way she put it made it feel really heavy and brought up a lot of grief. I’m also angry that I have a condition that many people still think is the punchline for a mean joke due to spectacularly crap childhood.

Childhood trauma, the “gift” that keeps on giving.