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So basically my father(70 M) and I (24F) always have a huge fight whenever we talk about my fibroid. I told him the best way he can support me is to be positive, and the occasional listening ear. I actually don’t think I ask much of him, but apparently this is too much. At this point I’m considering cutting him out of my circle of support.
Anyway last night we are having dinner and per usual he starts berating me about how I am not a good advocate for myself because I have not yelled at my doctors to fix me right away. I told him appointments exist for a reason and I don’t want to fight my doctors. A lot of people call him a Karen at the doctor’s (and other places too LOL), and I don’t want the same label thrown at me.
I started crying because his words were so harsh and then he got even more mad because I was crying. Threatened to tell my aunt to not fly out to visit me and also said stuff like “I guess I just can’t do anything right.” or “I guess I am just a horrible person.” These are things your ex-boyfriend says to you after you caught him cheating on you. This is not something a father should say to his sick daughter.
How can he have so little compassion for what I am going through? Why is he making it seem like MY sickness is an attack on HIM?
A few years ago, I realized that my brother is like the police. Anything I say can and will be used against me. So, I have to be careful about what I say. He doesn't know about the fibroids because if he did, the next time he feels insecure and I am in the same space he would say ugly things, playing on my fears that I will never have kids.
You can love somebody, while understanding who they are and protecting yourself from their worst impulses.
I am sorry that your dad has taken a shitty situation that is happening to you and made it worse by making it about him. You deserve better than that.
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- 4 months ago
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