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I was a fence sitter for a long time, but I finally made a decision last year. I definitely feel I made the wrong one. A lot of the worries here are about how it will affect your life as a parent. But now I find myself thinking way more about the life my child will live. I did before to some extent but noe it is to another level. There is never ending anxiety. Climate and ecological issues are the main worry that I constantly have. But also worries about friends, loneliness, social media, bullying, rising population and competition for jobs and resources, finances (i thought i was good before but now I see âgoodâ completely differently), how long he will live, who will care for him in old age, finding meaning in life, and on and on. Every day a new facet of worry is revealed that I hadnt even considered before. I realize how good my child free life was not worrying about someone elseâs life constantly and feeling guilt and responsibility for bringing new life into this very flawed world.
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- 2 years ago
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i am not a mother but both my older sisters are and i have lots of friends with kids. the thing is that the worry will never go away. even if we solve the cluster fuck that is global warming and war and famine, youâll still think of something to worry about. i donât think this is necessarily a bad thing unless it negatively affects your mental health or the way you raise your child. right now youâre living with a small human who relies on you 100% for everything. i think itâs important that you recognize how much better youâre doing than most people who donât even give 1/4th of the attention to their children as you are giving to yours. The thing is, thereâs always going to be something that makes us worry. My advice from someone on the outside looking in: worry when you need to, but be in the moment as much as you can because you only get this time with your child once. Enjoy their laugh and their cries, their soft chubby cheeks, and the way they look at you.
I am also on the fence about having kids (more of a financial and identity issue) but I know that if I did/adopted i would be giving them a life where they were always known that they were loved and cared for and that they can enter the rough complicated world confidently because they have the tools to take the world head on.
I think youâre doing great, OP. sending you love and support âĽď¸