My tokophobia guarantees that I will never let myself get pregnant, and honestly the realization that pregnancy and childbirth is something I don't have to go through has been extremely relieving. I used to dread the day that I'd have to go through that horror, so when it suddenly clicked that no, I don't have to do that, it was amazing. I've expressed my decision to never birth a child to family and the usual response is "well then will you adopt?"

And honestly, that I don't know. I'm certainly in no place in my life right now to even begin making that kind of decision, so it's by no means going to happen any time soon. But still, I wonder if I'll ever be ready to adopt and raise a kid. I mean, it's so hard to fathom that I'll even be independent to take care of myself much less a small human being that relies on me. I usually tell my family yes, when the time comes I'll adopt. But truthfully I don't know if that time will ever come. At least I don't have that "biological clock" or whatever to worry about. But I'm still worried that I'll be continuously stringing my family along telling them I will adopt and then never do.