Hey all,

SO and I are both fencesitters. He leans towards having kid/s. He's not firm on how many, but I think he'd prefer one at the moment versus more than one. He also is not adamant on biological kid/s. I'm leaning towards no, because I work in education, and goddamnit, I like not having children to come home to. I also have been diagnosed with bipolar which can run in families, so I'm not sure I want to have a kid, knowing they're at higher risk for it. I do like kids though. In fact, I really like kids (please don't go into K-12 education if you don't like kids). I just really dislike babies. We were hanging out with a friend's baby and I was kinda baffled by... everything. What do you do with a kid who is an eating, pooping potato?

Recently I was asking him about the actual logistics. If we had a kid, or adopted a baby, we would have to consider childcare for the first five years of the kid's life until they went into kindergarten. Even if we start them in pre-school at 3, that's still the 0-3 years to consider. I don't know if I want to start a kiddo in pre-school or daycare earlier than 3 if I could avoid it. Our friends have their 6 month old in day care, and they were talking about how little they get to see their kiddo since they're both back to working full time. Even though I'm not convinced I want to raise a kid, I know that's not what I want - to have my kid raised by strangers because I have to work.

Luckily for us, he's got a pretty good paying job, in a good industry. I could take a year off and do part time after that, reasonably easily. I'm also just not sure that I won't go absolutely insane being a stay at home mom, when honestly, I really like working. But there's no point in him staying home, because we won't make the bills on my salary. He could definitely work from home, at least part of the time, but I'm not sure about it.

Advice? Sympathy? Questions to help me make up my mind?