I just broke up with someone who I really loved because of this. I wanted kids, with him, with complete certainty that all the little things in our relationship could have been flawless because he was the one - and he also wanted a few more years to decide if he wanted that, he could MAYBE commit under the right circumstances. We had different, opposite even, beliefs; I’m a believer that if two people want something in the same direction, they will make it work because the mutual goal and desire is there. But when those desires are not aligned, the relationship will end sooner than later. In a way it’s good it ended sooner, before resentment and negativity can set in

Children are not something you can just compromise on. Most other things can be met halfway, but not something this big. Several times I had verbalized, I wanted to be with you forever, to have marriage and a family, and at first he said something like ‘I’m flattered but idk if I want to be a father’ and eventually started getting angry with me for bringing it up, causing friction in an otherwise beautiful and functional relationship

I don’t feel comfortable with the risk of gambling a few years of a delicate biological clock that is ticking like a bomb in me, for someone who doesn’t share my certainty or think I am the right person. It’s not fair to either partner to stay together when the visions for the future are not aligned. I’m heartbroken, I’m grieving and mourning a loss of a loved one and a future but I know it’s the right decision. It’s the loss of a future with us that I had dreamed up on my own, it wasn’t mutual for him. This sucks, it’s incredibly hard and I empathize with you. I also fear that I won’t meet someone who has this ‘spark’ and incredible connection and big love. This isn’t a decision I made lightly, I hope we can be amicable and civil. You will miss her, of course, the beauty of the memories together, and I’m sure she will as well. But it ended for a reason and you have to remember that

The wound is fresh, it’s emotional and cutting. Give yourself the most compassion ever, forgive yourself and forgive her, and begin to heal, as much time as it takes 💘 you’ve learned a lot painful lessons, and in time you’ll find someone who aligns with you !