Hi so first of all I’m not sure if I’ve used the right flair but it seems to be the one that fits most to what I want to talk about.

I’ve been in the kink community for a few years now and I’ve progressed from being strictly submissive to a switch to being mostly dominant. Along the way I’ve used Reddit to experiment and have grown to love the kink community on here as it’s welcoming and mature and educational.

However there is a major issue I have noticed as I’ve explored my way through femdom and posting my own content. I’m aware that someone else has had this conversation on here before but I want to continue it. It seems that many submissives want to treat female doms as kink dispensers. Now for those of you who don’t know what a kink dispenser I will put it as I understand it. A kink dispenser is someone who uses you strictly to get off. They use you for your kink. They don’t treat you like a human who has feelings. (This is my understanding of a kink dispenser I could be wrong)

I post content for a reason. I enjoy it. I enjoy expressing myself and it allows me to explore my sexuality and my kinks safely. However after less than two weeks of posting content I’m all ready considering stopping due to a certain few messages that I get on a daily basis.

These messages are: 1: Use my holes mommy, mistress or goddess ? 2: got Kik? 3: Can I be your sub?

First of all you don’t get to call me or any other domme a name such as mistress because you aren’t my sub and don’t have permission to use that. Second treat me like a normal person and I might consider continuing a conversation with you. Third it clearly states in my bio that I’m not looking for a sub. I don’t like repeating myself.

I think what I’m trying to get at here is that just because we are into kink or we are a domme does not mean we should be treated as kink dispensers.

I also don’t want to hear the excuse of “oh but it’s so difficult not to do that when I’m horny”. I’ve heard that numerous times when I’ve called people out for this behaviour. It’s not normal it’s actually very weird. I’m not here to get someone off. Someone might enjoy my content a lot and that’s great I’m glad they do! But I’m not anyones personal Domme and I’m not a kink dispenser.

I guess I just wanted to make this post to raise awareness about this and start a conversation about it. I know there is not a lot that mods can do in femdom subreddits other than put rules in place and such which I respect and think it’s a great start. But I think having this conversation and hearing others experiences of this and maybe even hearing how subs feel about this might spread this message across the community (hopefully).

I know that this does not represent all subs and I’ve had some awesome experiences with submissives over the past few years through Reddit.

Femdom does not equal kink dispenser. Femdom does not equal inhuman. Treat femdoms like you would treat anybody else.

Edit: I’m not sure how well my thought comes across in this post. I’m hoping that the message is understandable and the post isn’t too much of a rant 😂