I don’t really know how to start this post and I know this question has been asked to death here but im genuinely lost and hurting.

I have been into femdom for a while when i stumbled upon it by accident while looking at porn and I know that what is depicted in porn is not entirely true and is part of the reason why I feel ashamed of my kink, but ever since I knew about i just couldn’t stop thinking about it daily and soon enough all my fantasies were vanilla then switched to being a submissive but I just couldn’t get myself to accept this side of myself and i tried everything to quit and get back to the way i was but I just fail every time and it’s really messing with me emotionally and mentally.

I’m not from a progressive country or family so talking about it to anyone even therapists is not really an option.

I just want to know how can i be at peace with this side of me.

Thanks