Hey guys! Throwaway account here but I found this community and thought it might be a decent place to seek advice.

I'm a trans woman, currently married to the most amazing person ever, and I started HRT about 2 months ago. We've been together for two years, and for the vast majority of that time I have been the dominant partner with them, and for the entire relationship I've been out as a woman. Before I started HRT, I had no issues domming at all. It was really easy for me to get into the headspace, and for them they had never had a good experience domming so it was much more difficult for them to do it to me than it was for me to them. I had always kinda wanted to sub before, but I knew my partner just wasn't really up to that and I was okay to accept that.

At that time, domming for me was to a large extent centered around my genitalia (I would really prefer it not be referred to with any masculine terms, thank you) and the physical desire to get off. That did ofc involve a lot besides that part (our scenes tended to involve a lot of CNC, ropes and restraints, power play dynamics, knife play, we even had some elements of findom going on), but it was centered around the genitalia, and again at the time I was fine with this. I was the one in control and it was what I wanted. My partner was happy with it and so was I.

And then I started HRT. And everything got turned on its head. For the first month, my libido died completely, only to come back with a vengeance in the second month. And when it came back, it felt completely different than it used to. For one, my horniness wasn't concentrated around my genitalia anymore, I wanted my whole body and all of my emotions to be centered instead. In fact, I actually ended up realizing during a scene my partner and I had that I have bottom dysphoria (it's always been difficult for me to achieve orgasm during sex, and I had complained at various points that I often felt numb- no idea how I didn't put this together before lol).

For another, my partner and I started playing around with switching up the dynamic. And I liked subbing. Really liked it. Liked it so much, that when we started talking about going back to the older dynamic we had, I didn't really know what I was doing anymore. We've done a couple scenes together since with me as a domme again, and I've actually gotten really positive feedback from my partner about the way I'm treating them now- apparently, for them subbing feels a lot better than it did before.

The issue is that I'm so used to the way I used to dom that I have no idea what I'm doing anymore, and I've been experiencing a little bit of dysphoria from it. I can't center my genitalia the way I used to or the way I want to now, and the desire for having my way and total control isn't fully there like it used to be. I want to figure out how to feel more feminine as a domme, and I also want to figure out how to be dominant and maybe center my partner instead, since I've found that I'm just way more interested in centering them. Is this a thing?

Basically, my partner and I are at a point where we're trying to reconfigure our dynamic around the changes in my sexuality. They feel so fucking good as a sub, and they feel even better with it now than they used to, and I want to figure out how to feel better with it myself. Any advice?

EDIT: I read through some of the rules and advice things and yeah, here's a list of limits my partner and I have, and also kinks we share:

Hard limits: - Anal play (absolutely nothing here) - Face-slapping (for my partner, I really enjoy it being done to me tho) - Any masculine terms being used to refer to myself - Injuries more serious than small cuts or bruises, or that can't easily be hidden

Soft limits: - Slave play (for my partner) - Using my genitalia in bed (I can do it but I'm increasingly uncomfortable with it) - Hypnosis

Kinks we share: - Pet play - Restraint - CNC - Knife play - Sadism/masochism - Monster fucking - Vore (in certain cases) - Dollification