hi all, this might be a long one and potentially a bit emotionally charged but i have nowhere else to address this. i feel left out, or more so different than the rest of the femdoms i see in this community. im still relatively new to the femdom space, having only discovered the kink in the past 12 months, and naturally in that time I’ve gone on to learn more about the kink, as well as myself.

in the beginning i would say i identified as a switch with a dom lean, but now i would say flat out dom. the more I’ve learnt about femdom, as well as discovering more of my own kinks I’ve realised that i only want to engage in gentle femdom. i want to take care of, nurture, guide, and even gently corrupt subs but take absolutely zero pleasure is other stereotypical dom kinks.

im not a sadist, im not into impact play, im not info cbt, or sph, or like i said a lot of stereotypes that come with a dom title. and im finding this extremely difficult in my dating life, as when the kink topic comes up and i mention femdom the boys that are into it like essentially the dominatrix side of it, the bondage, sadism ect. less of the gentle, nurturing side of it. i also want to date my sub, and be with them, i don’t want a sub on the side, nor do i want a sub that is already in a relationship, whether it’s open, enm, or just looking for a secret dom on the side.

then it doesn’t help appearance wise, i look like every other women who likes to dabble in fashion. you’ll find me 98% of the time wearing leopard print, with pops of red, and just looking very ‘girly’ or very ‘vanilla presenting’. don’t get me wrong, i absolutely love wearing a full black outfit, and throwing on some fishnets paired with some big black knee high boots and strutting around, but my love for colours and ‘on trend’ fashion again means im not very femdom presenting.

to essentially put a very long story short. i feel like a vanilla femdom, and it’s absolutely killing me and my personal life.

(will also preface that i am in no way shaming other powerful women, nor am i kink shaming)