Like probably many men, for much of my life, I followed the familiar path of most straight guys, striving to be dominant (especially the incredibly sexist culture i come from), taking the lead, and being the quintessential 'big spoon.' But there was always a nagging feeling of something missing. Almost like a sense of emptiness. That usually changed depending on how caring I myself felt towards my partner but safe to say, most of the time, being dominant just really didn't feel right. It felt good but not right.

It wasn't until I turned 31 and had a very short but very intense relationship with a visitor that would shake the very foundation of my understanding of intimacy. In a moment of unexpected vulnerability, I found myself in the arms of my lifesaver. A nurturing yet playfully aggressive domme whose gentle but firm dominance spoke to a part of me I never knew existed.

She'd hold me close. Tell me things I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear. She could guide me with a firm yet tender hand and every time she spoke, her words not only held meaning but direction of where I should go. Honestly, the first night we cuddled, a floodgate of emotions burst forth. Tears mingled with newfound clarity as I realized that the most fulfilling moments of intimacy I had ever experienced were not in dominating, but in being nurtured, cared for, lectured and dominated myself.

It was pretty profound and while I am not opposed to returning to the role of a Dom, I get where my true leanings lie. And honestly, once the weight of societal expectations lifts, it gets easier to embrace my vulnerability and it gets easier to acknowledge my need for being submissive to someone who knows better than me, and I'm excited about exploring this newfound aspect of myself with honesty and authenticity.

And to the unnamed person who got this training rolling, thank you. You changed my life for the better.