Hi all.

I have been in therapy for a very long time (years). And one of the first things I learned about myself is that I have what's known as a "Anxious/Preoccupied" attachment style. Essentially what this means is that, due to the circumstances in which I was raised, I have a deeply seated fear of rejection and abandonment. I also deal with issues of low self-esteem and feeling unworthy of love or affection.

If you're unfamiliar with Attachment Theory I invite you to look it up and read about it. It's very interesting and has helped me cope with some of my more debilitating mental health issues. The Attachment Project is a good resource to start learning about it. If you're interested in knowing more about Anxious attachment for the purposes of this discussion then here's an article detailing more about it

Self awareness helps when dealing with the feelings I deal with daily (Which can be very overwhelming) but there are certain parts that will always be with me. And those parts make it very difficult for me to have a secure and fulfilling relationship. For the most part I tend to be fine on my own. But occasionally I have a need to re-connect with my partners and be reassured that everything is ok. And I find more and more that most people just aren't emotionally equipped or are just unwilling to handle a person like that. Especially when kink is thrown into the mix.

Very recently I was dropped by a Domme I had been dating for a month as a direct result of those left-over parts. And it's deeply affected my confidence. It isn't the first time this has happened to me and I'm sure it won't be the last. I know I can be a lot but it still hurts when I have so much hope only to turn around and shoot myself in the foot.

So I suppose I am here seeking clarity and maybe some comradery on this subject. Are there any subs or dommes out there who have anxious attachment or a partner with an anxious attachment? How do you navigate those things within your relationship and dynamic and what do you do if everything just feels like it might be too much to deal with?

I'm also open to discussing other attachment styles and hearing about other people's experiences and thoughts on the subject.