Hi,

I'm a nurturing domme to my sub/toy. We engage with others and I really enjoy it. But there seems to be this line where he is my toy and used on for others (ultimately for me) but feels very much like I'm never the muse. Which would be fine in some play, but this level of roleplaying is almost always. Or it's him pleasing me while I talk with others.

Don't get me wrong it's hot AF! But we are also partners and I'm feeling a little like I want to be the one yearned for. But when we do it is much less energy, which just makes me feel worse.

Thinking maybe I just need to find that from someone else (we allow for this in our dynamic). But I want to feel this from my nesting partner. I want to feel like I turn him on enough for great sex without others.

Sorry for any typos or vagueness, typing this out while at work 😂

Does anyone else experience this? Advice?

Thanks anyone reading!

Update: we had a one on one. He feels and expresses desire by being good for me and being used. He says he absolutely wants and desires me but this is how he shows it. We are going to also have more one on one time. As my NP he wants to make sure I feel desired by him. It's a little rough for me b/c the whole desiring part seems disingenuous if it has to be concentrated on. But we are working on it. Still open to more advice on this. Thanks!