First time poster - long time lurker (made a throwaway because I have some friends/colleagues that know how to find my actual Reddit account and this is not all out in the open).

Yet another rant, I'm already so sorry for posting but really need to get this off my chest / looking for some advice.

I (F29) have been a domme for about 8 years now (started out as a sub, switched after meeting some bad, bad people and now I'm never giving up control again). I've had both online and IRL dynamics, but only "recently" (let's say a year or so) stumbled upon the communities of you (mostly) amazing people on reddit. I was never aware of the official lingo, never did any kink events, rarely had like minded people outside of a sexual relationship and subsequently wasn't aware of the "negatives" of the femdom world being something widespread. I always felt something was wrong with me, if subs did not want to engage in a longer dynamic. Must have been something I had done wrong right?

When I was younger, I didn't seem to mind cause short time flings were perfect: casual sex was the ideal way for me to get my kink out, and not have to deal with long term "consequences" of a relationship/dynamic. However, as I've gotten more mature and work has taken up more of my time and energy, I felt myself more looking for a deeper connection besides kink (not necessarily romantic).

I was in a somewhat dynamic with a fuckboy (M25) for 2.5 years, during some difficult times in his and my life. We connected on an extremely deep level and both had a very hard time letting go - even though it was inevitable (learn to respect yourself ladies). He was the most annoying brat ever (whih I normally don't do), but very addictive and played into my primal/corruption kinks perfectly. Ever since I've parted with him 6 months ago, I worked on myself, had no serious dynamics and talked to my therapist a sht ton.

Since 2 months, I've tried to get back on the horse, pretty excited to get back to hunting (it's where I thrive). My excitement however quickly got lost. I created an account on Fetlife - I hate it there. Guys on Tinder: same story. WHY are they all so exhausting??? When did this turn into a "my domme is my therapist, she is going to fix my life and be the best thing that's ever happened to me". Or a "no I understand you want to vet and not talk about kink in the first place, but tell me about your deepest darkest kinkiest fantasy while I call you mommy/mistress/goddess or any other honorific I can throw out to see what sticks IN THE THIRD MESSAGE I SEND YOU. Oh and then if you DONT like what I'm doing, you, the female, are in the wrong and a bitch and you don't understand how this site works". NOT TO START on the amount of dudes that just blatantly ignore me saying the ages I'm comfortable with are 24-34 and text me "hey I know I'm 55 but please consider me". NOT TO MENTION my profile saying "i am not looking for anything specific right now" - not to create wrong expectations - and ANY GUY messaging me saying "I will change your mind, you will see. I want to serve you and be at your feet and worship you".

I AM SO TIRED.

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I am exhausted. I'm ready to give up on it all, but at the same time feel like my clock is ticking and beauty is fading (yeah I know, super dramatic but honestly that's what it feels like society is telling me). My fellow amazing people that used to love this and maybe at some point fell out of love with it, please is there any advice? I feel like i'm borderline burned-out on something that used to give me so much drive and pleasure.

PS. Munches in my area really aren't the greatest (I tend to go younger - in between 24 and 28 years old, most of the munches in my area are people 30). I'm also deadly afraid I will run into someone I know from work or god forbid - someone that works FOR me.

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